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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27847646">i just want you for my own (more than you could ever know)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfiniteGalaxiez/pseuds/InfiniteGalaxiez'>InfiniteGalaxiez</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stargirl (TV 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Fluff, I haven't written for this fandom before, Introspection, Light Angst, Love Confessions, Minor Inaccuracies But I Needed Them To Make The Story Work, Missing Scene, Mutual Pining, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Sorry if this is OOC, Two Shot, but not a songfic lol, but not that much you'll be fine, but only for the first half, sorta - Freeform, sorta?, the best type, title from a song</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 22:42:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,168</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27847646</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfiniteGalaxiez/pseuds/InfiniteGalaxiez</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>As the holiday season approaches, Courtney and Yolanda are forced to sort out their feelings for each other.</p><p>Little do they know, they're mutual.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Yolanda Montez/Courtney Whitmore</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So this is my first time writing a f/f ship... Sorry if this doesn't feel realistic? </p><p>Anyways, I love this ship but I don't want to get my hopes too high because it has a pretty low chance of becoming canon. At least I'm fine with the other ship (if you know what I mean) happening...</p><p>This chapter technically takes place after the finale but it's also sometime during the 6 weeks they timeskipped. So enjoy this!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Nobody told me it was gonna be this cold here," Courtney said. She and Yolanda had just been dropped off at the mall to hang out, and possibly do some early Christmas shopping.</p><p>"Well, that's just winter in this town, so you better get used to it," Yolanda replied. "Here, you can borrow my jacket again, I guess," she quickly added, not wanting to sound rude. She knew that Courtney had grown up in a warmer climate.</p><p>"Thanks," Courtney accepted her offer. "So, ready to go?"</p><p>"Yeah, we should hurry if we want to finish our shopping before your parents come back," Yolanda took her hand and walked inside. As they went in and out of stores, Yolanda couldn't help but think about how much her life changed since meeting Courtney.</p><p>3 months ago, she couldn't even imagine having friends. <em>Well, now I have a whole group of them, and it's all thanks to a certain someone.</em></p><p>There was also the fact that, after the incident 2 weeks ago, Yolanda had developed feelings for her, which were getting harder to ignore. <em>When am I gonna tell her that I- no. </em>Yolanda quickly stopped herself. <em>I am not falling for a girl. Especially not my best friend. She probably doesn't even like me back, anyways.</em></p><p>"Hey, are you okay?" Courtney's voice interrupted her thoughts. "You've been pretty quiet since we got here,"</p><p>"I'm fine, I've just been... kinda spaced out, I guess," Yolanda said. At least that was half-true.</p><p>"So, did you find anything?" Courtney asked.</p><p>"Not really," Yolanda replied. "I guess we'll have to wait a few more weeks for the actually good gift material,"</p><p>"I didn't really find anything either," Courtney said. "So, how about we split up for a bit? Maybe some of the other stores have something,"</p>
<hr/><p>Meanwhile, Courtney walked around, mostly lost in her thoughts. She, too, had caught feelings for her teammate and best friend, and had no idea what do to about them.<em> What am I supposed to</em> <em>do?</em></p><p>She had barely any experience in relationships, and didn't have anyone to turn to for advice. <em>If I ask anyone, they'll probably guess who I'm talking about, and word will get around to her, so that's not an option.</em></p><p>So, like Yolanda, she kept her thoughts to herself. <em>Well, someone's going to find out sooner or later... In the meantime, how should I tell her? Should I even? </em>It didn't help that Courtney had no idea if the other girl felt the same about her. <em>It would be pretty awkward if she didn't. Not to mention heartbreaking.</em></p><p>
  <em>Maybe I could buy her something, when they restock for the holidays.</em>
</p>
<hr/><p>After debating with herself for a while, Yolanda had decided to get something for Courtney. <em>At least if it turns out we're staying friends, she could see this as just, well, a friend thing.</em></p><p>She walked into the nearest clothing store, knowing exactly what to buy.</p><p>After that, the two of them finally met back up at the entrance.</p><p>"What's that?" Courtney asked, gesturing to the bag.</p><p>"Oh, that's..." Yolanda tried to find the right words. "Consider this an early gift. So you won't have to keep borrowing mine. And if anyone asks, you bought it for yourself," She handed it to her. Courtney opened the bag. Inside was a blue and white puffy jacket, that somewhat resembled what she wore as Stargirl. She smiled.</p><p>"Thanks, but I didn't get you anything, so..."</p><p>"I mean, we have, like, a month left," Yolanda said. "Don't worry, you'll think of something by then. Besides, I didn't really want anything in return. I mean-" <em>Oh my gosh, now I'm just rambling. Since when did just talking to her get so hard? </em>"You know what I meant,"</p><p>"Are you sure you're okay?" Courtney asked. At this point, she was genuinely concerned.</p><p>"Yeah, I'm sure. I'm probably just stressed, or sleep-deprived, or something," <em>I really need to stop lying...</em></p><p>They sat together in silence until Courtney got a text from her parents.</p><p>"Oh, they're here," she said. "Let's go,"</p>
<hr/><p><em>So, what should I get for her?  </em>Courtney had been thinking about that for a while. The ride home had been uneventful, especially after Yolanda was dropped off at her house.</p><p><em>You know, maybe Yolanda actually does like me back. I mean, with the way she's been acting around me... </em>She quickly discarded that thought. <em>Maybe I shouldn't get my hopes too high. But still...</em></p><p>There wasn't anything else to do, so Courtney got to work. She started writing down ideas, only to cross them out later.</p><p><em>None of these sound good, but, well, there has to be something. </em>she thought. <em>Oh, how about one of those "best friends" necklaces, but without any words? Maybe she'll get the hint...</em></p><p>Courtney made a mental note to buy one the next chance she got.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>yay they confess :P</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>And here's part 2! I kinda wrote the end first, just because I was getting impatient lol</p><p>Also this takes place sometime after the timeskip.</p><p>(sorry this came in a day late)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Weeks later, Courtney had finally found what she was looking for, just in time. She decided to wear her half of the necklace and gift-wrap the other one.</p><p>"What's that?" While she was getting ready, Pat walked in and noticed. "Are you getting it for someone special?"</p><p>"Umm... I guess you could say that?" Courtney replied. "It's for a friend,"</p><p>"Hey, I won't judge," he said. "You know I'll be okay with it if you're-"</p><p>"No, seriously, it's just for one of my friends," The last thing Courtney needed was someone finding out. <em>Well, at least for now.</em></p><p>"So, who-"</p><p>"Can we just... not talk about it?" she asked. "Please?"</p><p>"Okay, fine," Pat replied. "By the way, dinner's almost ready,"</p><p>Courtney headed towards the stairs.<em> That was close... </em>she thought.</p><hr/><p>When the day finally came, Courtney had thought of an elaborate plan to confess to her friend. She would wait until the right moment, then lead Yolanda into her</p><p>bedroom, give her the gift, and tell her how she felt.</p><p><em>Well, here goes nothing, </em>she thought. It just so happened that Courtney's family invited all her friends over for the occasion, which gave her the perfect opportunity.</p><p>Yolanda was the first to arrive. Courtney answered the door, and led her inside.</p><p>"So, I finally found something for you," she said a few minutes later, giving her the box. "But I think it's better if you open it later,"</p><p>"Wait, why?" Yolanda asked.</p><p>"Well, you see, I-" Courtney was interrupted by a knock at the door. "One sec, I think that's Rick and Beth," Courtney let them in.</p><p>"Hi, sorry we're late," Rick said.</p><p>"Yeah, we got stuck in traffic," Beth added.</p><p>"It's fine, I think we were just getting started anyways," Yolanda replied as Courtney led them inside.</p><hr/><p>As the party went on, Yolanda couldn't help but notice that Courtney had been avoiding her for the most part. Not wanting to pry, she kept her distance. <em>I wonder what's going on... </em>she thought. <em>Was it something I said?</em></p><p>"Hey, have either of you seen Courtney?" Yolanda asked. "Because I don't think she's talked to me since I got here,"</p><p>"I don't think so," Rick replied.</p><p>"Yeah, me neither," Beth said. She turned to Yolanda. "I hope she's okay,"</p><p>"Same," she said. "I wonder if she's hiding something..."</p><p>Yolanda had almost considered asking Courtney's parents if they had seen her when Courtney herself pulled her aside.</p><p>"Hey, can you come up to my room for a second? There's something I need to tell you," she whispered.</p><p>"Sure, what is it?" <em>That sounds serious. And why only me?</em>  Yolanda thought as she followed her up the stairs. They went to her bedroom before she answered.</p><p>"So, I wanted to tell you that I... Well, the reason I got you this was because... you know the thing that I gave you? Just open it,"</p><p>"Okay," Yolanda unwrapped the box, revealing its contents. "I just noticed, it matches yours," she said, putting on the necklace.</p><hr/><p>"I know, it's because-" <em>Why can't I just say it? Since when did this get so hard?</em>  Courtney sighed. The room was silent for a moment before she spoke up again.</p><p>"I don't get it," she said.</p><p>"Don't get what?" Yolanda asked.</p><p>"I was brave enough to literally save the world a few weeks ago, and yet I can't-" Courtney hesitated for a moment. "I can't even tell my best friend I'm in love with her,"</p><p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p><p>"Wait, you are?"</p><p>"There, I said it, even if it wasn't really on purpose," Courtney replied. "And I know there's, like, almost no chance that you do too, so I don't know why I even-"</p><p>"If it helps, I think I... also like you," Yolanda said.</p><p>"You're not just saying that to make me feel less embarrassed about admitting it, are you?" Courtney asked. <em>I mean, if she is, that explains a lot...</em></p><p>"No, I'm serious," Yolanda replied. "Ever since we met, I've been feeling something that I haven't felt since I was dating (girl2soldship). I just didn't know how to tell you until now," she explained.</p><hr/><p>"So now what?" Courtney asked. "Are we gonna tell anyone?"</p><p>"I don't know," Yolanda said, still processing what just happened. "But I think I'm fine with us keeping this to ourselves for a bit," <em>I still can't believe this is real. </em>she</p><p>thought.</p><p>"And... what are we to each other now? Are we, like, together? Or..." Courtney said. "And how will this affect our friendship and stuff?</p><p>"Well, I guess we can figure out labels, and what we are, and all that stuff when the time comes," Yolanda suggested. "The only thing that matters is that we know we</p><p>have feelings for each other,"</p><p>"Yeah, that sounds fine for now," Courtney replied. "Anyways, I think we should go back downstairs before someone notices,"</p><p>Yolanda silently agreed. She followed her to the living room.</p><hr/><p>"There you two are," Beth was at the bottom of the stairs waiting for them. "We were just about to go look for you,"</p><p>"By the way, where were you this whole time?" Rick asked as he walked up to the group.</p><p>"Well, I was..." Courtney tried to explain.</p><p>"You know what? It's not that important," Yolanda said. "What matters is that I found her, so now we can properly enjoy being here,"</p><p>"Nice save," Courtney whispered to her.</p><p>"You know, I had to do <em>something</em>," she replied. "Let's go back to the living room,"</p><p>Thankfully, Beth and Rick had a feeling that they should let the subject drop, so neither of them questioned Courtney or Yolanda after that.</p><hr/><p>A few hours later, after the party was over, Courtney and Yolanda were once again left alone together. They sat outside on the porch while Courtney's parents cleaned up the house.</p><p>"Anyways, seriously, where were you earlier? We were looking for you," Yolanda asked.</p><p>"I was... don't judge me, okay?" Courtney replied. "But I was well, preparing myself for this moment. You know, confessing to you? I guess I was just scared of what you'd think, and how it would affect us being friends,"</p><p>"To be fair, I was scared, too," Yolanda said, reassuring her. "I had no idea how I would tell you, so it's kinda a good thing you did first. By the way, how long have you known? That you... liked me?" she asked.</p><p>"Ever since the day you caught me after I was thrown off a building," Courtney answered as if it was a completely normal occurrence.</p><p>"I was gonna say the same," Yolanda replied. "I mean, a couple months ago, I would've been too scared to pull off something like that,"</p><p>"Well, you did," Courtney said. "And you saved my life,"</p><p>"It's like I said before. I was just returning the favor,"</p><p>For a few minutes, neither of them said a word.</p><p>"So, what's next for us?" Yolanda finally spoke up.</p><p>"I mean, like you said earlier, I think it's better if we keep this a secret, at least until we figure out a way to tell the others," Courtney said. "But for now? There's one thing I want to try, if you're okay with it," she stood up, gesturing to the doorway.</p><p>(girl2) looked up and knew exactly what she was implying. "Lemme guess, you want our first kiss to be under the mistletoe?" she asked.</p><p>"If you don't want to, that's okay," Courtney said. "I was just-" she was cut off by Yolanda, who pulled her in for said kiss.</p><p>When they finally drew away from each other, both of them remained in each other's arms, still out of breath.</p><p>"Sorry, I've just... wanted to do that for a while now," Yolanda said. "I hope that was... good enough? I mean, like, I didn't know if-"</p><p>"It's fine," Courtney reassured her. "So, I guess we're official now?"</p><p>"Yeah, I guess," Yolanda tried to step back but was stopped by something.</p><p>"Oh look, our necklaces got stuck together," Courtney said before separating them again.</p><p>"You think it's a sign?" Yolanda asked.</p><p>"Maybe," <em>A sign that whatever our... relationship is, it's gonna be a good one.</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So... how was that? I feel like it's OOC and drawn out, but that's what happens when you re-read your own fic several times, I guess. Also this turned out way longer than I wanted. Oof.</p><p>(hhhhh I just had to put that parallel to the season finale in there-)</p><p>Also I might be doing a sequel/prequel to this fic, but no guarantees lol.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>That's it for the first part of the story! The second half will be somewhat less heavy on the introspection and have more dialogue. And it's also gonna be a bit longer. </p><p>It should be finished and posted by next week! :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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